Chemo is over! I somehow ignorantly thought I would get stronger and more tolerant of the stuff by the end, but it's been quite the opposite. I've always been one to just keep on going, easily finding a 2nd wind when I needed it.....but I must have used them all up! I know my red blood cell count has consistently dropped each week so am trying to figure out what to do about that. It's disappointing but of course, it's only been a few days since treatment #12. Through most of my treatments by the weekend I felt pretty much normal. However today (Saturday) we went to a local farmer's market and it was about all I could do to walk through most of it. Toward the end Steve, King & I had to keep stopping and resting in the shade because I was getting dizzy. Another weird thing this week is I've been seeing a bar of light right below my eyes almost all the time. I didn't think I got migraines but I don't know why else this would be happening or if it's even related to the chemo.
Competed in an agility trial last weekend with 3 of my Shelties. It was in a horse arena, cooled with fans, but still warm and muggy. The 1st day I was really amazed that my muscles were cramping and I couldn't get them to stop. I was a bit dehydrated due to ongoing diarrhea but I think the heat made things worse. I was drinking plenty of water and Gatorade but it was just going right on through. In my first run of the weekend, right in the middle of the run my muscles just would not release. Win thought he was supposed to come toward me when I slowed down rather than taking the obstacle ahead so we blew a double Q. By the 2nd day the muscle cramping was going away but I never did feel complete muscle recovery happen after my runs. Don't quite know how to describe it...maybe kind of like the pull from trying an extreme yoga pose but with the muscles never stretching out and relaxing into it. Same thing the 3rd day, only the overall fatigue felt like a wet blanket hanging over me that I couldn't shake off. I think we still did amazing though....Win qualified in 3/6 runs, Lil in 2/3 and Markie in 1/1. I sure can't wait until my body feels normal again!
I see the radiation doctor, Dr. Reilly, on Monday. My disability insurance wants me to go back to work Monday too but I think I still need a couple more weeks. I know chemo brain still affects me, the bloody noses won't quit, diarrhea/stomach pain is constant, muscle pain is kind of new but distracting, I get tired so quickly.....and this stupid rash all over my arms and legs is driving me crazy! It looks just like a rash I used to get when I was a little kid that would be so bad I'd scratch 'til I had raw sores all over. I'm trying really hard not to scratch but still do it in my sleep. Dr. Gray wanted to give me steroids for it but I hate the way those make me feel so am trying Benadryl - and that's maybe why I'm feeling more tired than usual.
What's next? Well I get a couple of weeks with no treatments at all, then 7 weeks of daily radiation. I will also have to get a weekly infusion of Herceptin for the cell overexpression through the end of April, 2012. I'll have to get mammograms on the affected breast every 6 months for 3 years. I'm really looking forward to getting my hair back, have I mentioned that yet? I'll have a new boss when I go back to work and I'm still hoping to qualify with Win for AKC agility nationals next spring. I'm hosting an agility seminar at my barn in November and hoping we can afford to go see family in Tucson for Thanksgiving. A year from now I hope I'm sitting here with entirely new, fun goals, feeling normal again. Gosh, just a hear ago I accomplished one of my favorite life "to-do's" and went to see Sir Paul McCartney in concert. Can't wait to check off more like that!
I bet next year this time you'll feel great! I'm glad the chemo is over. :)
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