Chemo treatment #11 over and done with. It's hard to believe there's only 1 more left (knock on wood). One of the nurses said about 2 weeks after stopping I should see my hair beginning to thicken. That means 3 weeks from today!!!! I have grown used to the thin, buzzed look. It's certainly easier to maintain but it is a pain in lots of ways. I have to always cover it when I go out now in the summer sun and nothing is cool enough....the bandanas or ball caps I wear get much hotter sooner and the hot feeling lasts longer than when I had hair. And my little bean freezes at night so I have to wear a granny cap, well a knitted beanie, but I call it a granny cap. And I'll tell ya, sleeping with a beanie on is just not comfortable. I end up ripping it off, then digging around in the sheets for it several times a night. I am a planner so at this point planning to let my hair grow back in it's natural color, which is probably gonna be shades of grey at this point. I don't really know what color my hair is honestly. I've colored it since I was probably 13 or so. But I'll have a young, cute hairstyle and probably some low lights, maybe even a shock of a bright color like blue to bring out my eyes. Getting a chance to grow new hair will be a fun adventure.
What I think is funny is I never lost my eye lashes or brows. They may have thinned but were already so thin I just didn't notice. But I can still find them to wear mascara occasionally and brow powder. Other bodily hair has almost disappeared or is really thin - including those pesky thick whisker type ones I used to have to pluck from my chin. When those suckers come back I'll know my body has returned!
Today I feel fortunate with my cancer situation. Steve and I ran into a fellow we work with and his wife. The wife found a quickly growing lump just a few weeks after a clear mammogram and has been on chemo to reduce it's size. However after surgery, the path report did not look as promising as they hoped so they rushed back in to see Dr. Gray today. Such nice people....I truly hope something can be done to improve her chances to the best possible. And speaking of work colleagues, a woman engineer I worked with and respected highly from another Westinghouse location passed away a couple of weeks ago from cancer, I think it was ovarian. She was a dog person like me. She didn't compete but rescued Bassett Hounds. She had around 9 in her care. I know she had some helpers and I'm sure arranged for those people to take the dogs. Still, I miss her and will.....she was so good with picky customers, so articulate, and just in lots of ways the kind of person I like to model myself after. Oh - and another older woman came over to visit with me in the waiting room today, asking whether the treatments got any easier as time went on. She'd only had 1 and was doing the ass kicking regime where you go every 3 weeks 6 times. I felt so bad for her. She was there alone while I was there with my handsome, strong, rock of a husband, who was happy to schlep around the huge bag of blankies, drinks, snacks and reading material I always bring. I didn't quite know how to answer her other than to say everyone is different. I told her my experiences but knew her's would likely not be the same.
It's 3:53 am and I haven't slept all night. This is typical due to the steriod I get in my infusion. I may sleep for a couple of hours in a little while, then be buzzing around all day tomorrow. Tomorrow night I will crash early and it will be hard to get up Thursday morning. But I will.....gotta dog training date with a friend at 7 am that morning! Then an agility trial coming up over the weekend, which I tell ya will just be hard. I entered 3 dogs - Win, Markie and Lil, what was I thinking??? I'm in worse physical condition now than the 1st trial I competed at in May due to the cumulative effects of the bloating, fatigue, etc (I won't go into all the gorry side effects!), and that May one kicked my butt with just one dog. The trial is at least inside but in a rodeo arena that gets pretty toasty by the end of the day. Heat and chemo don't mix well - I hope I don't embarrass myself and pass out or something stupid like that.
Chemo brain: this is a literally stupifying side effect I'm experiencing more and more and can't wait to lose. I do so many dumb things like just letting one dog out to go potty and then not remembering which one it was or if I even did. Today I sent 2 e-mails to a friend that were almost exactly the same because I couldn't remember whether I'd really done the 1st one. Then I got a letter from the IRS saying we still owe $2300 in taxes! A closer look showed I included a source of income twice. I didn't attach a W-2 for both entries so you'd think the IRS would have just written me a letter saying I made a mistake. But no, instead they jumped to taxes, penalties and the like. Well, I guess I didn't have chemo brain yet when I prepared the taxes back in March, but I did just have major surgery to my breast so it's no wonder my brain wasn't working well. Sigh....Work is going to want me back soon too and I'm a little worried about being on my game like before. I used to be known as the person who knew all the requirements, or at least where to find them. I was told I had lots of credibility for that reason. Sure would had to lose that rep. Especially with the new boss I'll be working for. Something to talk to Dr. Gray about when I see him next.
OK, back to see if I can catch some ZZZ's before the sun starts to come up. G'night!
The hair thing.. maybe that's how are dogs are, their fur keeps them the right temperature in the summer and winter too. :)
ReplyDeleteThat is actually cool about the chin whiskers! hehe. I have to pluck some too and it sucks. :p
It was good to see you last weekend! You looked good out there, I could hardly tell you didn't feel well. :)