M-m-my Seroma

Steph & Sophie - 21st Street trail, Ogden, UT

It was a beautiful day yesterday so early morning Steve, Steph & I decided to take a little hike with some of the dogs.  We took a paved trail near the Ogden river that we hadn't been on before.  The trail is pretty new so it was fun to see how the city had taken what was once a dumping ground and turned it into a beautiful, safe place that people can enjoy.  There were lots of white benches for resting and many stair cases built of railroad ties that led down to the river.  We crossed a cool bridge and saw some Mallard ducks and some sort of finches.  The river was running high and fast and the weather was perfect.  Only it was hard for me to enjoy myself because of this HUGE, I'd say tennis ball sized swelling, called a Seroma, where my lymph node incision is.  The m-f'er is about as hard as a baseball too and although it doesn't inhibit my movement, the mass is pulling on the back & sides of my arm and causing pain and chaffing the skin under my arm, which then causes me to hold my arm away from my body, which in turn causes some pain in my shoulder and neck.

Memphis, Steve, Me, Li'l & Markie

I talked to Dr. Jordan about it Friday and all he said was it was normal.  I could put some heat on it to make it feel better.  He did not tell me the technical name of it though. I found that online.  Evidently 30% - 90% of people get it.  It can take anywhere from a few weeks to a few MONTHS to go away.  Why didn't anyone tell me about this?  I'm just mad that the week after surgery I felt much better than I do now.  I can't imagine how I'd ever run agility with my dogs with this thing......

When we got home from our walk, King, my Collie who had been left home, jumped up and punched me guess where?  Man oh man, another bruise began to form immediately.  

I can't sleep in any position but my back right now.  I'm supposed to stay off the side where I had surgery and if I lay on the opposite side, the stitches pull and hurt.  Our bed is a piece of crap and has a big droop in the middle so laying on my back hurts.  I can sometimes put a pillow or blanket under my back and make it through the night.  But last night, between my back and this stupid baseball thingy under my arm I couldn't stay asleep so finally had to go downstairs and sleep in a chair where my back was supported and I could prop my arm up on a pillow.  I actually slept pretty well but I really hate not sleeping with my husband!

I did have a really nice lunch with Olivia, my oldest.  She took me to Olive Garden and actually paid!  Sitting with her over a nice soup & salad and glass of their house blush did make me feel a little better.  We just don't get to see each other often enough because of our schedules and I don't like that.

I'm also wondering why an appointment was made with the oncologist for tomorrow.  I got a voice message reminding me to be there at 1:45.  I would like to know who made that appointment and why.  I have to assume it has something to do with the pathology results.  I do not like not being prepared for things!  I'll go there tomorrow and have no idea what I should be sure to ask or understand.

Despite the wonderful walk and lunch, I felt like an ungrateful slug.  Other people with cancer have to worry about the spread of it and potential loss of their life.  Some may not fear loss of life so much but have to lose both breasts and go through chemotherapy.  I've also been thinking about the poor people in Japan who had to endure the 5th largest earthquake in recorded history last Friday.  I wondered if any of them had just had a lumpectomy and thought about how that would suck to be in their situation with no electricity, no water, maybe even no home, and possibly have lost their families and/or pets.  I still have everything.  My situation is not nearly so dire.  I will still look the same with the exception of my scars and my cancer has not spread.  Yet, I'm still in a stupid funk so guess I better work on my attitude.  Maybe manana it will be better.